You are great!

Dear MNC cousin,
I am very happy to know that you have successfully completed 5 years of loyal service, at your very great MNC which has offices across the world; with cubicles as big as a football court in your words. Where people are smart and very tech savvy as you are, who work so hard that they forget they have been working too long and too hard, which meant banishing regular conversation skills to be replaced with lavish usage of technical lingo which sound French to your parents.

I am so happy to know that the management decided against giving you a better cubicle because of your very "decent behavior". Which is currently strategically placed between a row of newly hired bimbos, which gives you the advantage of bragging and cracking silly jokes without moving from your "revolving chair", which can even be used to recline. The same one that has been supporting you for the past 5 years.

I am surprised to know that you couldn't finish riding some of those rides on Disneyland the last time you went there, because too much of those ogling from above made you throw up the idly and sambhar which you had packed from home, special mom made ones which were perfectly round and soft.

I am delighted to know that a complete wall of your apartment of 10x10 wall is filled with mementos from Office which proclaim that you are an awesome employee who never misses the free booze parties and free for all lunches/dinners.

I understand you have worked too hard for the Organization which has decided to honour you with the exceptional last man standing memento last March and also deciding to name a new wing of the Company's car sheds after you.

I am pleased to know that you have changed your "set" (mobile) almost 16 times every time making sure that you got the latest model and at festive offers. I know you took great pains to obtain that Special ring tone for you new set. Yes the new Partner(The movie) one too.

I am pleased to know that you are dropped at your apartment every night in a nice cab which runs on the profits you have been earning for your company. I also know that the cabbie ensures that you always get to listen the radio station of your choice. After all you are a person with maximum experience of having worked with the company's length and breadth.

I hope you understand the dangers of taking your cell while attending nature's call and in remote areas when you are visiting your hometown which happens to be in a remote village in a not so big city where connectivity is an issue, which forces you to scream "shit" every now and then.

Iam so sad to know that you are being forced to stay back because your interaction with foreign clients was so great that the Organization decided against pursuing any business interest in the near future in neighboring areas.

I wish you had bothered to remove the price tag from the fake Gucci watch you have presented to my dad. i think you assumed that we would never turn over and read the "Made as USA" written on the back of the watch. Thank you for the card board box in which you presented it, serves well as as paperweight.

I am so thankful to you for the perfect entertainment you provide when all our cousins meet up, narrating your day to day activities and heroics and near filmy situations with your immediate boss.

Good luck. Hope you stick around.

Hope the company is not plotting to ship you one fine Monday morning to Uganda, where they plan to start a new office and you have been appointed the BOSS!

Regards,
Attributions.